On Radical Acceptance
Who We Were, Who We Are, Who We Will Be
Deconstruction is the heartbeat of our era.
Questioning long-held beliefs, traditions, institutions, and identities has become second nature to a lot of us. The decline in religious and political affiliations makes this clear. But beyond faith and ideology, we are also rethinking gender norms, cultural myths, and historical narratives—decolonizing our minds, our stories, and our selves.
This is good. Necessary, even.
And yet, I wonder—do we truly evolve linearly, as we often assume? If we come to different conclusions than before, does that mean we’ve progressed—or just simply changed?
The more I sit with these questions, the more I reflect on how humanity has always believed itself to be advanced—only to later look back at past convictions with embarrassment or regret.
I’ve been there.
I once thought I was "enlightened." I believed my circle, our beliefs, and the practices we championed were somehow higher, and more evolved than those around us.
Now, I look back at that version of myself with a mix of amusement and discomfort. What once felt like the ultimate truth now seems limited or at times, just ridiculous. But then again—isn’t that just part of being human? Won’t my future self, at some point, cringe at my present self too?
Which raises the question: Does growth only move you forward? If someone evolves in a direction opposite to ours, have they "de-evolved"?
You see, construction and deconstruction are just like breathing. You inhale, and then you exhale. You construct, therefore you deconstruct.
Here’s what I’ve come to understand: Consciousness doesn’t evolve in a straight line—it moves in cycles. In the material, you construct and then deconstruct. And if you’ve faced your demons, you reconstruct. But it doesn’t stop there. That’s just the first cycle.
You cannot progress through these cycles in peace unless you Transcend, Witness, and Include each experience and its outcome, with utter non-attachment to any of the steps in the process.
So by all means, deconstruct all things that don't serve you in the now, but make space for reconstruction. While you're at it, learn how to Transcend, Witness, and Include each of these in the present, in every step, and every cycle.
You Transcend, because you no longer identify with it, and have become completely unattached to it.
You Witness, because in releasing attachment to who you once were and what you once believed, you can now observe your past self with compassion and kindness. You witness your choices, your beliefs, and your fears—not with judgment, but with understanding. You observe it all, yet remain unattached to any of it.
You Include, because you have moved beyond it, seen it for all that it was—both its beauty and its burdens—and have woven it into the fabric of who you are now. Here, you hold all of it, but without clinging, allowing it to be part of you without defining you.
This is radical acceptance—of who we were,
who we are,
and who we are still becoming.